Why Does My Life Suck? And How to Make It Better

Last Updated on January 6, 2023

Sorry to break it to you. Life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows.

Is it the dark side? It’s just waiting to get out. And when you’re experiencing a streak of misfortunes, doesn’t it seem an excellent time to call it quits and say:

Why does life suck so much?

Maybe. But one thing’s for sure: You need to see life differently. 

So let’s go over why you feel like your life sucks. Then let’s explore realistic ways how to make it better. This way, you can end your misery and start looking forward to better days.

Why is my life so bad?

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You’re not the only one. Lots of people don’t like their lives, too. Some are plain sad. The others — 300 million people, to be exact — are feeling depressed. 

Let’s look at the possible causes:

What you can’t change

On the one hand, you can’t do anything to change some things in your life. Call it a stroke of bad luck, if you will. And it doesn’t even matter if you pray or meditate because your bad situation stays still.

But rather than feel bummed out, know there’s a workaround: Accept your situation.

1. Physical disability

For instance, losing your motor skills due to a car accident bites. You start to ask, “Why me?!” when you have four children and a husband to support financially. 

Well, there’s no clear answer to your question. And sadly, you have to deal with your situation.

But you know what? Complaining about how you ended up with terrible circumstances won’t add even a dash of sparkle to your life. 

If anything, it’ll just worsen the crippling mental health issues you already have.

But what you can do, though, is this: Make the most out of what you have.

Australian Christian evangelist and motivational speaker Nick Vujicic who was born without limbs, delivers a speech during the 2017 China tour in Shenyang city, northeast China’s Liaoning province, 5 September 2017.

Nick Vujicic is just one of the many people who get by with this golden nugget.

He was born with no arms and legs, yet he was able to remain positive and build a wonderful life for himself. If he can enjoy his life, why can’t you?

Whatever your response to the question is, it doesn’t matter. But know that you’re not alone, and to cheer you up a bit, here are some facts about people with disabilities:

2. Toxic family and friends

The guy who keeps whining about his boss behind his back? A girl who doesn’t stop talking about irrelevant matters? A guy who emotionally manipulates others?

You need to stay away! Surrounding yourself with these and other negative people has terrible, terrible consequences. And studies can stand by the statement that it can cause a heart attack and stroke

The situation opens up a moral quandary for you, though. What if these toxic people in your life are your family and friends?

So let’s set the matter straight.

You’re powerless over how other people are. You can always try and extend your hand to a friend or family member who’s down.

However, changing them is never wise because it can lead to frustrations. 

The simple remedy, therefore, is to find some good in them. They have good — if not great — qualities, and you must make a conscious effort to find them.

Especially at the beginning, looking for the bright side can be challenging. But if you want to keep those people in your life, this is the way. 

What you can change

On the flip side, you’re not always helpless. When sifting through things that upset you, you’ll realize that some of these are under your control.

The solution? Go out there and make a change.

3. Unfortunate financial situation

Can’t afford to buy decent clothes? No car? No gym and club memberships? 

If you were born in poverty, it’s understandable how your situation is not worth smiling about. Especially if you see your peers buying whatever they want, a tinge of envy will come to you.

And other than affecting your emotions, an unfortunate financial situation can bring itself into different aspects of your life. These are:

  • Financial knowledge – Knowing how the tax system works is your responsibility. But if you can’t afford to pay taxes, you’re doomed.
  • Health – You can’t afford to seek medical attention. So if you get sick, your only use over-the-counter medications.
  • Career – Establishing yourself professionally can be a costly investment. So if you don’t have the finances to get it going, you can’t pursue your dream job.

4. Pressure from society

Research shows that spending time on social media leads to depression. And the reason behind it is not rocket science.

If you want to know why successful people are living an insanely happy and good life, they don’t exist on social media.

You see, hanging out on those platforms causes you to see how other people are doing. And the more you know, you can’t help but think of how you are doing. From that end, you begin firing self-doubts that lead to misery.

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Short Story on Hard Work Leads to Success

Here are some examples:

  • “He went to a highly-recognized school and seemed to have his whole life figured out. I don’t even know what I’ll be doing this week.
  • “At 24, she’s already established herself. She has a great career, family, and friends. I don’t have any of that.”
  • “The last time I saw my high school buddies was nine years ago. Looks like they went backpacking, and I wish I also went with them.

5. Toxic environment

Here’s how you paint a sample picture of a toxic environment:

(A) Draw stacks of plates in an area that looks like a living room

(B) Insert guys who smoke and make loud noises

(C) Insert dust-laden desktop computers 

So if you’re living in a place like this, you’re in a toxic environment, it’s no wonder why you feel as if your life sucks.

Having unpleasant elements surround you is a surefire way of inviting negative thoughts where it’s not needed. So if you stay in a toxic environment 24/7, you’re stressed 24/7.

And we’re not just talking about the place you live. Your workplace can be toxic, too. 

If it doesn’t allow you to grow, take it as a sign that you should leave. For all you know, you are working to be a corporate zombie.

6. Health issues (due to poor lifestyle choices)

If you have health issues, it can be the main reason for all the negativity you’re harboring.

And if these health issues are due to your poor lifestyle choices, that’s on you. The World Health Organization says if you keep it up, you will develop chronic diseases.

Here are some things that you’re doing that need to go:

  • Watching TV all day – Sitting there is an easy way to relax. But doing it more than necessary results in physical inactivity and increases your risk of a heart attack.
  • Smoking – It deprives your blood and other organs of oxygen. And without oxygen, they won’t function well.
  • Drinking alcohol – The more alcohol you consume, your blood pressure level increases.

But color yourself lucky. Once you’re aware that making poor lifestyle choices harms you, you can decide to take charge and not make the same mistake as before.

All you need to do is to ditch the unhealthy lifestyle and start living better!

7. Fear of taking risks

Life sucked for you because you are stuck in your own way. You’re not doing anything to improve your situation and refuse to look at the positive things in your life.

Part of making moves to attract more goodness in your life and eliminating negativity bias moving forward is to do something out of the ordinary.

In other words:

You need to take risks to move forward in your personal and professional life.

So when was the last time you took a chance? If you can’t even name a single time, there’s the problem: Your fear of taking risks.

Here’s a closer look at the causes of that fear:

  • Not wanting to leave your comfort zone – Pursuing something requires effort and can bring some inconveniences into the equation. If you’re not up to giving in to the requirements, then it’s why you have that fear
  • No clarity – You’re confused. You don’t know what your goal is
  • Past failure – If you failed when you took a particular risk before, you might consider yourself a failure. But here’s how you can redefine the situation: Take the risk again

What to do when life sucks

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Did you know that inactivity can contribute to negative feelings?

So when you feel like you’re falling apart, do something proactive. Years from now, you’ll pat yourself on the back for doing so.

Here’s a list of 15 things you can do:

Go to the root of the problem (and fix it!)

Earlier, you looked at the possible causes of your misery. And if what’s causing you to think that your life sucks is one of those causes, then you need to find a way to make it go away. It’s as simple as that.

For example, the practical solution to an unfortunate financial situation is to get a job. And if you must, get a higher-paying job.

Beyond that, here are other ways you can fix the problem:

1. Be in your safe zone

A reason why you feel down may be your fear of the unknown. Facing question marks about your current or future situation makes you feel powerless. And this fear grows more prominent when you don’t have enough time to sort things out.

So to resolve this, run away to your safe zone. There, spend a moment to think and remind yourself that the fear of the unknown can’t get to you. Plus, nobody can randomly burst in to bother you.

Don’t have a safe zone? Create one! Just find a quiet and noise-free place where you can be alone.

2. Talk it out

Bottling your emotions is easy. But you know what else it is? A straightforward approach to making you feel all sorts of anger.

If you keep even the most minor frustrations inside you, they’ll just grow. And keep growing they will until you no longer have any control of it. The Snowball Effect should sound familiar, shouldn’t it?

So visit a close friend and fill them in on your situation. Inform them of what’s bothering you.

It doesn’t matter if they can’t offer a solution. What matters is that you have them to help you lessen your load.

Just make sure they’re all ears when you’re venting. After getting some things out there, you’ll feel better.

That’s because talking works. If you don’t know why many people pay and see therapists, why not find the answer yourself?

3. Write in your journal

You may call it by one of its three names: journal therapy, writing therapy, and journal writing therapy. They all mean the same thing. And they all stay true to the same idea.

And this idea is to put your frustrations out there. It’s like talking to a close friend. But if you don’t have one, let your journal serve as your best friend.

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30 Uplifting Words Of Encouragement For A Friend Who's Down

Please use an old-fashioned pen and notebook for this. This way, you won’t be easily tempted to go online. But if you can write better using your computer, make it happen.

4. Do some physical activities

Your physical condition–in particular, your lack of activity– can cause to make you feel worse.

An excellent advice to stay positive is to be active to keep your blood pumping and your body in excellent condition. That’s an easy-peasy way to elevate your mood.

For instance, the legendary Runner’s High has been shown to rewire your brain and uplift it. It’s also a ticket to an hour or two without anxiety and pain. 

And a cool thing about it is that it’s free. All you need is to put on some running attire and maybe put on good music. Then off you go!

5. Take risks

As mentioned earlier, you feel life sucks because of the fear of taking risks. It’s understandable to fear the idea of making giant leaps of faith. But it’s something you need to do to get rid of unwanted emotions. And one of those is regret.

So here are some things you can do to overcome that fear:

  • Start small – Small risks coach your confidence to take matters up a notch. Pitching an out-of-this-world yet excellent idea to your boss is an example.
  • Ignore negative comments – Words of discouragement are time-wasters. They’ll also discourage you from trying to move forward.
  • Be ready – It’s hard to succeed in something if you have zero clues on how to pull it off. So prepare yourself beforehand for the steps you need to take.

6. Cut losses

But while there’s a time to get up and do something about your life, there’s also a time to accept defeat. That’s the first thing that should be on your to-do list when the odds aren’t going in your favor.

If you’re sad because you have that fighting spirit wanting to win, you need to pause at some point.

From there, spend time assessing the situation to find out the real deal. If it appears you’re about to go down, then be brave to admit it to yourself. Then get yourself together so you can move on.

Here are some ways to accept defeat and cut your losses gracefully:

  • Keep your cool – Stay calm. Whining or throwing tantrums won’t get you anywhere or make you less miserable
  • Know that you can move past it – See the loss as a tiny setback. Assure yourself that you can quickly bounce off
  • Find lessons – If you can’t find studies about the loss on your own, that’s okay. But find someone — a mentor — who can

Change your perspective in life

And if there’s no apparent cause of your misery, then you need to polish your mindset. If you don’t think your brain dictates practically every action you make, now is the time to give it some credit.

It’s responsible for how you see the world. If you used to see it in a glass-half-empty sense, then why not make a change?

7. Breathe in, breathe out

It’s called deep breathing. It helps you relax and make your worries go away. 

The idea is to give yourself room to breathe and be fully aware of what’s bothering you — then have the power over it.

How you play this out is up to you. But to lead the way, here’s a step-by-step guide that you can follow:

1. Inhale and hold your breath for 10-15 seconds. During this period, think about a problem.

2. Exhale. And as you release the pent-up air, imagine that you’re also releasing the problem you had.

8. Be grateful

Do you keep crossing your fingers to be as blessed as somebody else?

If so, that’s probably why you think your life sucks. So instead of focusing on your misfortunes, turn the other way. Then you’ll see that the people and things in your life are worth smiling about. 

It’s a simple way to pure happiness. And it’s why Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, and other affluent people give to charity.

Aside from reminding you that your life doesn’t suck, gratitude comes with other benefits. And mind you, these benefits are scientifically proven. Here are some of them:

  • Improves sleep – Writing down simple acts of appreciation before bed rewards you with a good night’s sleep. The reason? You are reminding your brain of how grateful you are
  • More empathy for you – It doesn’t matter if you’re mingling with generally unkind people. If you’re grateful, you’re more likely to behave kindly.
  • Raised mental strength – Want to combat PTSD and other stress-related problems? Being thankful for all the good in your life will make it happen

9. Tell yourself that you have unlimited potential

If you think you can’t do something, you may be wrong. What’s holding you back could be just an irrational fear. If you made yourself believe that you can only do little things, then that could be your problem.

So tell yourself this: “I have unlimited potential.” And while you’re at it, do this simple pose:

1. Stand up with your legs hip-length apart. 

2. Make sure your chin is facing upwards and your chest is out.

3. Put your hands on your hip. 

It’s called The Superhero Pose. And a social scientist from Harvard bows down to its power. Just 120 seconds of the pose can raise your ability to feel dominant and reduce stress.

10. Don’t play the victim

Playing victim = taking the easy way out. 

A reason why you feel like your life sucks is this: You’re embracing The Victim Mentality. You feel as if it’s you against the world despite being the wrong one. 

Well, the world is not against you. And if you’re willing to go where the proverbial greener grass is, you should ditch that way of thinking

If you’re at fault, you should own up to it. Going through life thinking you’re always right will harm you later. After all, it keeps you from seeing things as they are.

See also
What Type of Personality Plays the Victim?

Here are some things you can do to stop playing the victim:

  • Take responsibility – Accept consequences and deal with them accordingly. Doing this opens the door for growth to enter
  • Let go of grudges – it’s sad when people screw you over. But holding onto past grievances slows you down
  • Trust others – Untrustworthy people exist. But if you don’t have any concrete evidence that the person in front of you fits the bill, then look the other way. And learn to trust them

11. Set realistic goals

To move forward, you need to take risks and aim high. But if you’ve had a history of getting tanked when you’re aiming high, take it as a reminder to redefine your goals.

So don’t set yourself up for failure. And instead, set accomplishable goals and run towards even the slightest bit of success.

Sure, this classic saying encourages you to “Go big or go home.” But when you’re down, you need to step back and accomplish small wins first. Then when you’re standing on solid ground, you can use those small wins to fuel you for a much bigger success.

Just think of the small wins as the stairs that lead up to the big win. They pave the way for you as you embark on a more promising journey. And to reach your destination, you must take them. No shortcuts.

Want a relatable example? Then look back to your pre-school days and the day you started first grade.

Now, think of your preschool days as your small wins. You had to show up to school on those days. Otherwise, you probably would have dealt with much trouble once you reached first grade.

12. Welcome a pet

Puppy Behind Bars is a program for prison inmates to raise and train puppies. These puppies then go to wounded war veterans and other government-facilitated groups. 

Without a doubt, the program benefits future owners. But it also benefits the prisoners who’ve helped raise and train these puppies.

Therefore, another thing you can do is to get a pet, too. If you’re not a fan of puppies, consider kittens. 

Welcome him into your life. Then raise and train him. Doing so will make you feel better mentally. Having him around will comfort you and make you feel safer.

Aside from that, here are the other benefits of a pet:

  • Improved physical health – Pets like to run around. And they like you to do it with them. It’s a good thing because it keeps you active.
  • Improved self-esteem – Having something to care for improves how you see yourself. It reminds you that you’re great at helping another grow.
  • Better social skills – You can bring your pet to the park to interact with others like him. And as you do that, you get to shake hands with other pet owners, too!

13. “This is temporary”

Remind yourself that the feeling of your world falling apart is only temporary. For all you know, you couldn’t jump high enough to express your happiness tomorrow.

So you’ve had it tough today. But cut yourself some slack. As soon as a new day rises, your fate may turn around.

Besides, difficulties are signs that something good is heading your way. Just wait it out. And the classic Latin saying “Per Aspera Ad Astra” is with you on this.

14. See the silver lining

Silver linings are everywhere, and you can get your hands on them. That is, if you’re an out-of-the-box thinker, and you can appreciate that they come unexpectedly.

Here’s an example:

You realize you didn’t get an email that you were supposed to receive five days ago. So instead of giving in to your frustrations and whining about it, you go to your email account and re-check your inbox. You then search for that particular email in your spam, junk, and other folders.

And while you were looking in your spam folder, you discovered another email meant to head to your inbox.

What was in that other email, you ask?

An invitation to interview for the job that you’ve always wanted! 

15. Improve your relationships

Did you know that hospitals require you to enlist a support system to get approval for an organ transplant? This is because they know how difficult having a new organ can be. And having family and friends to support you can lessen that difficulty.

Well, that’s how it should also be for you. If you say your own life sucks, your support system will prove you wrong. 

So, welcome people into your life. And remember to cultivate your relationships. Take care of them, so when you need it the most, you’ll be surprised at how quickly they reciprocate the gesture.

Here’s what you can do:

  • Spend quality time – Commit to having time to hang out with your loved ones. If you need to tweak your schedule to make it happen, then that’s what you should do
  • Always hear them out – It doesn’t matter if what they say seems silly to you. Not hearing them out will make them feel as if they’re not worthy of your time
  • Start engaging in new hobbies – Go camping, visit theme parks, or check out museums, if you want. Doing so keeps them engaged

Does life suck? Think again

“The way of a harmonious spirit.” 

That’s the English translation of the Japanese martial art called Aikido.

In it, you’re encouraged to use the energy of external forces toward personal development.

Its philosophy is instrumental during a crisis — personal or otherwise. And many studies can support it.

So if you feel like your life sucks, reevaluate your situation. And remember Aikido’s philosophy. Maybe things are going wrong for you because you’re causing life to work against you. 

Keep in mind; life is what you make of it. If you make it work for you, you’ll realize that life also has something great to offer. And you know what? They’re yours for the taking!

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Make Everyday Count - Stay Motivated!

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