What Are the 3 Most Important Things in a Marriage?

Last Updated on September 30, 2021

Need help in making your marriage with your partner strong or stronger? Or are you about to get married and could use some tips to strengthen your relationship?

Then let this article come to your rescue. Here, let’s find out what are the three most important things in a marriage.

The goal is to help you understand what strengthens a marriage. This way, you can enjoy your bond with your spouse better. And you two can have unending happiness.

Why should you give importance to your marriage?

You should give importance to your marriage to keep it intact. If you’re wondering why married couples stay together for years, it’s because they work on their marriages.

They’re partners in everything in life. And they want to allow that partnership to blossom.

Here are the reasons to give importance to your marriage:

  • To make your marriage meaningful – Giving importance to your marriage adds life to it. And if you don’t want your marriage to fall apart, you should work on it regularly.
  • To celebrate an important chapter in your life – Marriage is the beginning of a bond with someone you want to share your life with. By giving importance to that bond, you’re letting yourself grow.
  • To show gratitude to your spouse – Having an incredible spouse is worth appreciating. To keep them around, the best way is to value your bond with them.
  • To be satisfied with your life – Married people are happy people. Next to economic activity and health, over 286,000 people reported marriage makes them happy.
  • To add purpose to your life – If you don’t know what your purpose in life is, your marriage may be that purpose. By nurturing your marriage, you’re also nurturing your purpose.

Giving importance to marriage: The secret to a lasting marriage


Their story

It was on May 13, 1924, when Herbert Fisher Sr. married Zelmyra George. The ceremony was held in North Carolina. And it was a ceremony that marked the beginning of 86 years of marriage.

The two of them were like peas in a pod. They both had a profound love for God and they built their marriage with that as the foundation.

Soon, they raised a small family in a ranch-style home. From their 5 children, they were blessed with 10 grandkids, 9 great-grandkids, and 4 great-great grandchildren.

Their record

Herbert Sr. and Zelmyra Fisher had a fruitful life as one. And Guinness World Records recognizes this lengthy union — and so did the media and The White House. Until February 27, 2011, when Herbert Fisher Sr. died, the couple was the record holder for having the longest marriage.

Their marriage withstood the test of time. Notably, they stayed married despite rocky times. They also made sure the other was always in splendid company.

And they remained with each other over historical events. Their togetherness got them through the Great Depression, Korean War, Civil Rights Movement, and up to 15 presidential candidates.

Their secret

The secret why Herbert Sr. and Zelmyra Fisher stayed married for decades? They never took each other for granted. They learned to grow together and share ideals.

They also gave importance to their marriage. For them, what they had was rare and wasn’t something everybody could have. As individuals, they knew they weren’t too different from other people.

As a couple, though, they knew they were something special. They knew they could accomplish great things together. So they valued what they had and kept working on their partnership.

Related: How to Be a Better Wife in 18 Loving Ways

3 important things in a marriage

Wedding RingsPin

Examine your marriage if it has the things below. If it doesn’t, consider adding them into you and your spouse’s lives.

These are the three most important things in a marriage.

1. Connection

You’re going to spend most of your life with your spouse. So you need to have a deep connection with them to make the time worthwhile — both an emotional and a physical connection.

Otherwise, you’d soon want to get out of your marriage. Without a connection, you’d be bored, depressed, and have nothing to look forward to in life. Worse, you may quickly find everything they do annoying.

To connect with your spouse, have an excellent relationship with them. Engage in their hobbies and enjoy things the two of you love.

Here are the ways you can cultivate your connection with your spouse:

  • Talk to them about their day – Ask them about their activities, highlights, and experiences. Listen to them and let them know what they have to tell you matters.
  • Be there – If they have problems, always be around. Assure them you’re willing to help them out and they’re never alone.
  • Have fun together – Have something in common with them. Watch the same TV shows and movies, for example.
  • Schedule a date night – Prioritize hanging out with your spouse regularly. Add it to your calendar.
  • Take vacations regularly – A change in scenery now and then is great for you and your spouse’s mental health.

2. Trust

Inarguably, the importance of trust in a marriage is indispensable. If you don’t trust your spouse, you may always feel paranoid around them. 

The thing with trust is, it’s not something given to a person immediately. The recipient of that trust has to earn it.

It’s also fragile. Once a person breaks another person’s trust, it can be difficult — if not impossible — to get back.

Here are the ways you can build trust:

  • Keep lines of communication open – Communication is a two-way street. So talk effectively, listen, and understand.
  • Invite feedback – Your spouse — any person, really — often has opinions. So encourage them to share what’s on their mind.
  • Be sincere – If you disagree with them, let them know. Do it in a gentle and respectful manner.
  • Be exemplary – Lead by example. And always do things with integrity.
  • Never blame – Disappointments, failures, and other unexpected outcomes happen. Accept they’re part of situations, rather than take them out on your spouse.

3. Commitment

Your commitment to your spouse speaks of your faithfulness to them and to yourself. It‘s about your willingness to do whatever it takes to make your marriage work. If your marriage is truly important to you, it should be your top priority.

Almost any person can get married to their partners. Not everyone, though, is committed to staying with that person for the rest of their lives. And not everyone is bold enough to dedicate themselves to the same person for years down the line.

If things go sour, married people who aren’t committed to their spouses may easily leave each other. Meanwhile, people whose commitment is unquestionable will find and create reasons to remain married.

Here are the ways you can strengthen your and your spouse’s commitment to each other:

  • Be expressive – Let them know how much you appreciate them and how they’re a significant part of your life. Express this appreciation in words and actions.
  • Set and pursue unified goals – Identify what the two of you want out of life. And work towards achieving them.
  • Surround yourself with supportive people – Hang out with people who love the idea of the two of you together. Building relationships with those who want your marriage to work will inspire you to stay committed to your spouse.
  • Prioritize them – Show them loyalty. Always choose them and never set them aside.
  • Be a team – Always talk things through with them. Include them in every decision and always ask for their decision.

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What are the 3 most important things in a marriage for you?

Every marriage is unique. 

So while listed above are common things that many people consider as the most important things to many marriages, your marriage with your spouse might be different. 

If none of the three things are important for you and your spouse, that’s okay. There’s no right or wrong answer. It’s up to you and your spouse.

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