Why Do People Feel Sorry for Themselves

We are emotional beings. Sometimes we feel sad, happy, excited, or anxious.

These are all normal and we already know the reason we feel this way. But what if we feel sorry for ourselves? And why do people feel sorry for themselves in the first place?

Well, there are many reasons for this. It might be because of personal experiences, lack of moral support, or some other things that make us think we’re a failure.

That’s what we’ll talk about in this article because we will show the reasons people feel this way. We will also share some tips on how to overcome sadness so you can have a happier life.

Lacks self-confidence

One of the most common reasons why people feel sorry for themselves is because they lack self-confidence.

They think they can’t do something just because they are weak or they don’t have the needed skills. People feel bad about themselves because they see themselves as incapable of achieving things.

People who lack self-confidence feel sad and usually choose not to do something so that they can avoid failure. They then pity themselves and think that they are inferior even if they really can do it. Sometimes, our feelings are just mere emotions.

And it’s all a matter of mindset. We must not let our feelings overpower us. Trust in yourself and believe that you can do something.

This might be a school task or a certain new project at work. Just make sure that you have the resources and skills to do this task.

Also, don’t be afraid to talk to other people and ask for help. Don’t be shy and don’t think of yourself as a loser. We aren’t perfect and it’s alright to seek help. Put your head up high and just do it.

Bad previous experiences

Another reason people feel sorry for themselves is because of previous unsatisfactory experiences. They might have failed at a certain project or not finished a task on time. They then carry the burden and can’t move on in life because they are heavily affected. This is normal.

But don’t let it come to where you just can’t move past your failures. We all go through terrible experiences and that’s a part of life. Accept this and just move on. Treat your bad experiences as history.

Learn from them and know that you can turn these experiences into valuable life lessons. Don’t feel bad about them. They’re done! All you have to do now is to move on in life and do your best to be productive and happy.

No real friends

No man is an island. You might have heard this saying many times already. But this just never gets old. This is very true because you can’t survive and thrive on your own. Yes, you can start a business or get a good job without relying on other people.

But it’s going to be very hard. There is also a good chance that your business will fail and you’ll lose your job if you don’t connect with other people. Get real friends who will help you through thick and thin. Friends support you and make you happy.

They also help you if you have problems in life. Sometimes, you just need emotional support to overcome your failures. You can easily move on and get rid of anxiety if you have good friends. Don’t be shy to reach out to your buddies if you have a problem.

Related: How to Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself

Failed expectations

There are also times when we expect too much only to see it fail. It’s good to aim high. But don’t let it reach the point where you set unattainable goals. Set achievable goals that you know you can do at a specific time frame.

An example of this is if you forecasted your profits to double in just a month. You then see that it didn’t happen. What happens next? Well, you feel bad about yourself and think that you’re a failure. Don’t think that way.

That’s normal for businesses. What you must do now is to find an alternative solution to boost your profitability. Improve your marketing, create backup plans, or lower down your costs. There are many things you can do to deal with failed expectations.

Melancholic attitude

Melancholic attitudePin

Melancholic people usually feel sorry about themselves because they always feel sad. It’s their attitude to see things in a negative light. They easily get depressed and feel terrible even if it’s not worth feeling that way.

Change your attitude if you think that you’re like this person. Life is full of surprises and there are many reasons why be happy. Don’t be a pessimist.

There’s always hope, even in the darkest times of your life. Sometimes, you just have to ditch the sadness away and force yourself to be happy. It can be hard at first. But it’ll easily become a habit through time. You won’t then notice that you’re already a happy person in no time.

You crave sympathy

People who always crave sympathy easily feel sorry for themselves. They think they are the saddest and poorest person in the world even if they aren’t. They also see themselves as a total failure which is why they want to get lots of sympathy.

Many people like this are present on social media. They always rant about their misfortunes and talk about how sad life is or how big their problems are.

They then feel better when people like their post or comment on it. This is very common these days and social media has a huge part in this.

A good way to avoid this unhealthy habit is to avoid too much use of social media. Here are some of the most common social networking platforms people use today:

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

These platforms are excellent because they make communication easier and transferring information faster. But they become unhealthy breeding grounds for toxic people if you use them too much.

Don’t crave too much sympathy. Fix your problems and learn how to deal with them. Getting some sympathy helps you emotionally. But they really can’t do anything other than make you think people care for you.


There is nothing wrong if you are goal-oriented. This means that you have dreams and aspirations in life and you want to be successful. But this becomes wrong if you overdo it.

One of the most common people who feel sorry for themselves is those who set up goals in everything they do, whether it be small and unnecessary tasks.

We are human, right? This means that we are imperfect and we can’t achieve all the things we want. It takes time, effort, and loads of patience.

You can easily feel sad about yourself if you cannot do a certain task at a specific point. Set goals if you think it is important. But don’t set goals for everything you do, because there’s a good chance this will get postponed.

Failure to help others

Another common reason people feel sorry for themselves is when they cannot help other people. People who have very kind hearts and are overly charitable easily feel bad if they can’t give to other people.

Aside from that, they also feel sad once they realize they gave too much and see that their bank accounts are depleted. Learn to balance things and analyze the consequences of your actions. It’s not wrong to give. But just be sure to not overdo it because you can end up broke.



You need to have a focus for you to avoid sadness. People who are distracted with other matters such as family problems or issues in school or at work easily feel bad about themselves.

They become confused about what to do about their problems, and they blame themselves. These people then think that they are a total failure because they have a lot on their plates. And they don’t know what to do anymore.

Take things one step at a time. Don’t overcomplicate things and think that you need to work simultaneously on different things.

Well, you can do that. But this will just make things harder for you. You can always work on one thing and then another after. This ensures you do it right. It also lowers the chances of failure.

You doubt your ideas

It’s normal to doubt your ideas. But don’t let it come to where you always think that your ideas are bad.

Analyze your thoughts and see if your plan is beneficial in the long run. You’ll be stuck if you always think that you have bad ideas. Not only will this limit your achievements, but it will also make it harder for you to reach your goals.

Think logically and look at the pros and cons of your plans. Weigh things out and see if it’s a good plan. Ditch it out if you think it’s an impending failure. You can then proceed with it if you have the resources, skills, and experience needed to fulfill it.

You overcomplicate things

Never overcomplicate things. Keep calm and don’t get rattled when you are busy or faced with many tasks. Just take things one step at a time and learn to deal with your tasks. Don’t always think that you can fail or you didn’t do it right.

Avoid irrational thoughts because these will just stress you up. Look at the bright side and don’t overcomplicate things. Deal with what’s in hand. Analyze things directly and don’t go overboard and into other matters.

Related: Is It OK to Feel Sorry for Yourself?

Lack of hobbies and interests

Sometimes we just need to sit back, relax, and have fun. Get out and play your favorite sport and spend time with family and friends.

People who don’t have any hobby or don’t have time to play their favorite game or watch their favorite sport easily feel bad about themselves.

It’s good to go full blast on your work and be serious about life. But it’s not anymore healthy if you overdo it because it will just stress you up.

We aren’t robots who can work with any break. We also need to feel alive and have fun. Get some downtime, play video games, go ride your bike, or maybe just watch the latest movies. This helps you cope up with stress so you can have a good mood all day long.

Failed relationships

People who have failed relationships also feel bad about themselves. They blame their selves for the breakup. It might be because they didn’t treat their partner right, or they lacked the maturity to maintain a happy and healthy relationship.

Life happens and we can’t always have good times. There is nothing to do but just move on. Or you can fix your broken relationship and get back to your loved one.

Don’t let a failed relationship ruin your life. Yes, you are one of the primary factors in the breakup. But it already happened and you can’t do anything about it. All that’s left to do is to deal with the present.


Hard work pays off. It shows that you are serious in life and you want to live a happy and bountiful life. But too much work can take a toll on your physical and mental health. And you easily feel sorry about yourself, even if you aren’t to blame for something.

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Get a break now and then and take a deep breath. Even just 5 or 10 minutes of break every 2 hours helps a lot.

You can also go outside your office, and stare at any green vegetation so your eyes can relax. This makes you feel better and puts you in the mood.


So, why do people feel sorry for themselves? Well, there are many answers to this. But the most common ones are because of stress, previous experiences, and lack of self-confidence.

It’s not a dead-end for people like this. There’s a way to go around this, and that’s by having new positive mindsets. Look at the bright side of life and don’t be too hard on yourself.

Knowing the answer to why do people feel sorry for themselves helps you avoid this problem. Just remember to relax and take a deep breath when faced with life’s challenges. And always remember that there’s always a brighter tomorrow waiting.

Make Everyday Count - Stay Motivated!

Sign up below to get our FREE e-book "8 Simple Ways to Supercharge Your Motivation Everyday!"