Last Updated on May 14, 2021
We are emotional beings. We feel happy when we achieve something, and we feel sad when we fail or not get things our way. There are also times when we get excited at the thought of seeing someone we love. Or perhaps get angry at someone who did wrong to us.
But what if we are the culprit of our own actions? And we can’t blame anyone other than ourselves for our misfortune?
That’s where we ask, “is it ok to feel sorry for yourself?”
Well, the answer to that is yes. Feeling sorry for yourself is a normal reaction when we cannot do something. We also react this way to cope up with our misfortune and avoid them next time.
But how can you cope up with this disappointing feeling? And are there ways to lessen its negative impact to our mental and emotional health?
That’s what we’ll talk about in this article as we’ll show you why it’s ok to feel sorry for yourself.
Table of Contents
Sign of humility
One of the biggest reasons it’s alright to feel sorry for yourself is because it humbles you. It gives you a sign of humility. This helps you assess yourself and see how your actions affected your life and other people’s activities.
See this as a means for you to humble yourself down and lessen your pride. Yes, it’s okay to feel proud of yourself because this boosts your self-confidence.
But too much pride can consume you and make you forget that you also need other people to succeed. Don’t take all the credit because you can never reach ultimate success on your own. Humility is important because it helps us see our weaknesses.
It might be hard for us at the start because we can think of ourselves as losers. But it’s a great habit in the long run because it gives you the urge to overcome your pride and learn to connect with people. Keep your feet on the ground and the sky will be your limit.
Related: Is Self Pity a Sign of Narcissism
Opportunity to reassess yourself
Another reason it’s totally fine to feel sorry for yourself is because it opens an avenue for you to reassess your attitude. Look at yourself in a different light and know why you failed. Search for the things that caused your troubles and analyze the things you did wrong.
Are you too lazy? Do you lack the skills needed to complete a task? Or are you not that passionate enough to finish something with style? Ask yourself these questions so that you can avoid the failures that make you feel sorry for yourself.
It’s not that bad to see yourself as a loser as long as you do your best to not be a loser next time. It’s a life lesson that lets you see the reality of life. Know your shortcomings and work on them. Don’t just accept that you’re like that.
Yes, you can have your own personality and attitude. But also do your best to improve it. It won’t just benefit you, but also other people as well. Reassess yourself and strive to become the best version of yourself.
Need to change for the better
Imperfection is part of being human. But that doesn’t mean we can just accept this imperfect as it is and not do anything about it. Strive for constant improvement for you to be happier in life. You want to live a meaningful and successful life, right?
So do your best to change your careless attitudes and ditch your negative habits. Change for the better so you can retain the positive people in your life. Some might say that you’ve changed. But is it bad to change if you’ve changed for the better?
It’s totally fine to feel sorry for yourself because this lets you see the things you need to work on. It might be your short temper, outlook in life, or perhaps the skills you need to learn to do a job correctly. Improve yourself to improve your life.
Organize your life
One of the common reasons we feel sorry for ourselves is when we fail at something. This can be at school, our work, or with our relationships. And why do these happen? Well, because we have a cluttered and saturated life.
You are already overwhelmed with the number of tasks you need to work on or the people surrounding you. Treat this disappointing emotion as an opportunity to organize your life and get your bearings back.
Set daily schedules and do your best to stick to them. Do things one step at a time and never rush just for the sake of finishing early. It’s important that you put things in the right place. And never mix things up just so that you can do them fast.
Separate your work projects from your home chores. Set specific time durations for the things you want to do. Don’t let the number of tasks overcome your senses because this will just rattle you out.
Plan for the future
It’s fine to feel sorry for yourself because this lets you see the bigger picture of life. You get out of your comfort zone and see the reality. It puts you out of the box because this shows the consequences of your actions.
This also makes you realize that laziness and bad habits will just do more harm than good. Because of this, you feel the need to fix your problems and avoid them in the future. You then plan for your future and set goals.
Use this a time to reflect on yourself and ponder on your life plans. How do you see yourself in your job five to ten years from now? Where do you want to spend your later years? Do you want to have a family? And how can you ensure financial stability?
Ask these questions for you to plan your future properly. You might think that it’s still too early for all these. But it’s not! In fact, you must plan as early as possible so you can make them happen. Turn your dreams into reality.
Solve your problems
Feel sorry for yourself if you want to. But don’t let it cripple you down. This is why many people see this emotion negatively. When it’s really not that bad!
You feel sorry for yourself because you know you did something wrong. So, what will you do about it? Will you just sob over it and feel bad about yourself throughout your life? Of course not!
Accept it as it is and move on. Then avoid this. Know the root cause of your problems and find a solution to them.
Be ingenious and creative. Don’t treat this as a dead end for you. Instead, see this as an opportunity to solve your problems so that they won’t happen again in the future.
Turn your weaknesses into strengths
We all have our own weaknesses. Accept that and don’t feel too bad about it. Well, you can be a bit disappointed with this. But always remember that there is hope. You can always deal with your weaknesses because you can turn them into strengths!
The first thing to do is to assess yourself. Think of the things you’re not good at. This can be mathematics, public speaking, or maybe you lack creativity. It’ll be easier for you to reverse these shortcomings if you know what they are.
Then do your own research and learn the techniques and ways to fix them. You can start by doing regular financial computations or just be innovative. Don’t let your imagination limit you so you can be more creative.
Also, believe in yourself for you to be confident. You can do anything you want as long as you believe you can do it. Note that nothing is impossible. It can be hard at first. But do your best to become better.
Avoid pride and self-righteousness
Pride is good because this boosts self-confidence. It also helps widen your network and speed up success because you have the passion and guts to do what you want. But too much pride will just put you down.
Overly proud people feel entitled to everything. They feel they are so superior and perfect that they lose track of their humanity. Little do they know that this just separates them from other people who can help them succeed.
Feeling sorry for yourself gives you time to lower your pride down. You see you are just human and you are imperfect.
Don’t be boastful because this leaves a terrible impression on other people. It’s alright to flex these things:
- New things
- Travel vacations
But just don’t overdo it. Treat it to inspire other people and not to show off.
Reflect on your past actions
It is ok to feel sorry for yourself because this helps you reflect on your past actions. Look back and see what you did wrong and know why you feel this way. Know the things that disappoint you today and avoid them.
Feeling sorry for yourself gives your mind the space needed to treat your history as life lessons. Learn from them to be wiser.
Don’t be too consumed with the grief and disappointment. Treat them as challenges that make you stronger. Reflect on your shortcomings so you can be stronger and better in life.
Sympathize with others
Another good reason feeling sorry for yourself isn’t really that bad is because it helps you sympathize with other people. You humble yourself down to where you see that life is not a bed of roses.
You then realize that there are many people who are struggling with their own life and need help. This gives you the initiative to help them in your own way, no matter how small it is.
Sympathizing with others might seem useless for some. But it really isn’t because it eases their emotional grief and makes them feel better. Sympathy goes a long way, and it’s one thing that the world needs most today.
Is it ok to feel sorry for yourself?
Of course it is.
It’s a natural human reaction to disappointments and failures. But instead of seeing it negatively, treat it as a blessing. This is an opportunity for you to humble yourself, fix your problems, and turn your weaknesses into strengths.
So if you hear someone ask, “Is it ok to feel sorry for yourself?”, just give them a gentle pat on the shoulder and say yes. Explain to them it’s a time to reflect on themselves so they can be a better person.
It’s all about becoming the best version of yourself.
A writer by day, a tech enthusiast by night, and a mountain biker at the weekends.
After four years in business school and working for multinational clients, Jomar believes he can improve the world through his writings.
Jomar has six years of experience as a writer and has a degree in entrepreneurial marketing. Some of his works have been published on Blokt, Clutch Points, and iTech.