An amazing partner is a gift. That’s why if you have a partner worth spending your life with, then you should learn how to be a better boyfriend.
But first, let’s define what makes a good boyfriend. Then we’ll discuss the different ways on how you can take it up a notch. This way, you can be the kind of boyfriend that your amazing partner deserves.
What Makes a Good Boyfriend?
Because a survey says 91% of people find men who shave attractive, you might want to do something about your beard. That is, if you have one. And if you don’t have a beard, just clean yourself up.
As the survey, as well as other studies, can attest: Physical attractiveness reels in an amazing partner.
On the other hand, below are two relevant points to think about:
(1) Looks are highly subjective. By simply flashing your pearly whites, you may win the heart of someone every time you walk by. However, don’t let it surprise you when the next person finds you inexplicably repulsive.
(2) Using your physical appearance as the only basis for figuring out whether you’re a good boyfriend is not the best way to move forward. If you want to be in a meaningful relationship, learn to think differently.
So instead of capitalizing on nothing but your good looks, be willing to see the intangible aspects. They also come into play, you know.
To start you off, answer these questions:
- Do you truly listen?
- Do you protect them?
- Are you always there for them?
If you answered “yes” to these questions, it’s a sign that you’re on the right track. And if you keep going and play your cards well, you’ll land in a good place.
But do you want to move up to the next level?
15 Ways on How to be a Better Boyfriend
Being a better boyfriend to your amazing partner doesn’t come naturally. It doesn’t matter if you’ve watched thousands of rom-coms with happy endings. Or if you know lots of people in successful relationships.
Like it or not, you can’t just expect to “watch and learn” as you cross your fingers that you’d live to tell the tale. And like it or not, there’s no other way to go around the subject except this:
You need to work on being a better boyfriend.
So let’s countdown the different ways that can help you out:
Groom yourself to be better
If you’re in a relationship, you should be available for your partner. This means being able to give them what they want and need. If you’re not ready for the responsibility, there’s only one workaround: Be ready!
1. Gear up financially
Going out isn’t cheap. Something as simple as driving to the park means you have to shell out money for gas.
Therefore, avoid this problem by telling your partner the truth. Tell them that you don’t want to spend money on activities. And that you want to stay home.
But while this is practical, this can make your partner unhappy. Plus, it doesn’t peg you as a fun person, does it? So if you don’t want to stay in all the time, you’d be glad to know that there are other ways to get by. And some of these are:
- Get a job – A surefire way to keep money coming is to keep earning. So get a job. And if you must, get a better-paying job
- Budget – Create a solid financial plan revolving around your income. And stick to it
- Live within your means – Prioritize. And spend only for things that you can afford with the money you have in your hands
2. Work on your issues
Another way to be ready to be a better boyfriend to your partner is to work on yourself first. After all, you’re better qualified to care for another person if you know how to take care of yourself.
So make it happen. Make sure you get enough rest, exercise regularly, keep up with a balanced diet, and more.
Prepare yourself mentally, too. If you have emotional problems, work on them.
Don’t be afraid to change your point of view if that’s what it takes. Instead of focusing on the things you’re about to leave behind, look ahead.
3. Be transparent
Don’t keep your partner guessing about their role in your life. If they’re special to you, let them know. Telling them that you want them around may seem unnecessary.
But it’s not. It’s a simple way of assuring them that they matter to you and that you don’t want them to go away.
And other than letting them know that they’re special, here are more simple ways you can be transparent:
- Be honest even about the smallest things – If you make mistakes, let them know. Even if it’s an uncomfortable topic, better to talk about it
- Eliminate doubt – Ask them if something is unclear. Explain yourself if necessary
- Be responsive – If they’re the ones asking questions, don’t shrug. Instead, face them and give them a concrete answer
Invest effort into your relationship
As mentioned, your amazing partner will want to stay with you if you work to make it happen. Even if most happy couples make the task look easy, it usually takes a lot of hard work. And if you’re willing to hustle, there doesn’t seem to be anything to worry about, is there?
4. Respect them
Are you familiar with Serbia’s Three-Finger Salute?
It’s a distinctive salute that you can make by extending your middle finger, index finger, and thumb. And it’s a gesture to show respect to anyone they value.
That said, the way you show respect matters less. The more important thing is that you give genuine respect for your partner.
Here are some effortless ways to be respectful to your partner are as follows:
- Honor your word – Don’t make promises you can’t keep. It sends a message that they’re not worthy of good things
- Don’t interrupt them when they’re talking – Hear them out. If you have something important to say, wait until they’re done
- Be happy when they’re happy – Even if you can’t understand the reason, jump for joy with them. It comforts them to know that you have a heart when they have one, too
5. Introduce them to your circle
Having an amazing partner is something to be happy about. So why not make a big deal about it?
Especially if you want your circle of friends to be constant in your life, don’t hesitate to make them part of this milestone in your life. They’ll adore you for the gesture.
And you know who else will adore you for the gesture? Your partner!
Not only will they be glad to know that you’re proud to have them. But they’ll also shake hands with your favorite people.
If you’re scared about what could happen during the first meeting, remind yourself that it’s going to be okay. To help you loosen up, check out these tips:
- Make a plan – Find out how and where the meeting will take place. Doing so gives you enough time to prepare for a memorable time
- Give your partner a heads up – Especially if your partner hates surprises, you should fill them in. Inform them that you want them to meet your circle
- Pick the right time – Choose a time when the people involved are not in a hurry. Otherwise, they can easily forget a meeting that’s supposed to be special
In your relationship, there will be moments when you and your partner aren’t on the same page. And if this happens, here’s a practical solution: Compromise.
Meeting someone halfway isn’t always easy. But if both of you are strong-willed in getting your ways, then it’s what you should do.
Here are some rules on how to compromise fairly:
- Both sides need to aim towards a positive arrangement – Negotiate in a way that allows you and your partner to come out as winners
- Both sides need to sacrifice – But if winning something from your arrangement isn’t possible, be fair to each other. If one party has to give up something, the other party has to give up something, too
- Both sides need to listen – Don’t just toss out rules out the window. Instead, make sure that you and your partner are in total agreement
7. Act proactively
Sadly, up to 50% of marriages in the US end in divorce. But on the flip side, the other 50% of married couples live happily ever after.
That said, it’s like that popular thought experiment, Schrodinger’s Cat. If you’re unfamiliar with it, here’s a refresher:
It’s a thought experiment that discusses a 50-50% chance of a subject being in one state or the other.
To apply the experiment into your relationship, just think of your relationship as the subject. Its fate can go both ways — with each way having a 50% chance.
So if you want your relationship to go somewhere, be brave enough to act on it. If it means taking a risk, it seems like it’s what you should be doing.
If you just stand around and do nothing, your relationship stays as it is. But if you do something, its fate can go differently.
8. Show affection
Did you know that India and China are some countries that frown upon public displays of affection? Because there are set laws against these public displays, you might want to play it safe when telling your loved one that you love them.
Then again, showing affection to your partner in public doesn’t mean you shouldn’t show them any affection at all. If you don’t show them affection, how else would they know you love them?
Here are some acceptable displays of affection that you can do:
- Hold their hand – Hand-holding (with interlocked fingers) shows that you always want to have them around. And compared to a lifeless grip, it shows genuine intimacy
- A quick kiss – A kiss that doesn’t last long won’t likely raise eyebrows. So don’t hesitate to give a quick kiss to your partner every time you say hello or goodbye
- Arm-linking – Apart from being a go-to move that signifies affection, it’s also a casual gesture that makes your partner feel safe
9. Make time for them
One of the simplest ways of making your partner feel glad that they have you as a boyfriend is that you have time for them. This means that even if you’re working a nine-to-five job, you have time to be with them.
So if you’re struggling in this department, there’s a simple remedy. Just cut out the activities that take up a lot of your time. Some examples are as follows:
- Watching TV – Prioritize. Are the shows you’re watching more important than your partner?
- Playing video games – Sure, they can benefit your hand-to-eye coordination. But unless you’re playing video games with your partner, this activity is a time-killer
- Gossiping – It can be fun to talk about other people. But the odds are, you don’t care about these people
Bring out the best in them
Investing effort into your relationship can be counterproductive if you do it blindly. If you’re going to put in some work, stop to check if it’s the kind that your loved one needs. For all you know, it could be doing more harm than good.
10. Embrace their weaknesses
The Prospect Theory describes the behavior of having a skewed point of view. Instead of focusing on the big picture for what it actually is, your eye is on what you can lose. And as a result, you live your life based on avoiding any element that comes with a flaw.
But while this behavior can put you in a safe zone, ditch it in favor of a great relationship. To be a better boyfriend, you need to understand that your partner isn’t a perfect individual. And this means: They have flaws.
So instead of fearing their flaws and weaknesses, you should accept them. Better yet, embrace them. If you view these flaws and weaknesses from an optimist’s eye, you’ll notice that these can be good, too.
For example, your partner’s flaw is that they can be too stern about their work schedule. Because they’re not flexible about their schedule, they’re closed off on the idea of spontaneity.
Well, rather than think of this as a bad thing, look the other way. And think that this just means that they’re hardworking.
11. Support them as they pursue their careers
Another way to be a better boyfriend is to be supportive. Especially if you’re in a relationship with an ambitious person, they’ll appreciate that you’re always there for them.
Sometimes, your partner will want you to play a more active role for them. They might want you to put in a good word for them. Or they might want you to help them score a job.
Other times, however, they just want you to hold their hand. They don’t want you to mingle with their business because they want to advance on their own.
So either way, respect their wishes. Be there for them as they would want you to.
12. Accept that they love what they love
One of the many good things about being in a relationship is the opportunity to warm up to new possibilities. Because another person is also part of the picture, you open yourself to accommodate them.
An example? If you’re a dog person and if they’re a cat person, you should consider an interest in cats, too. And if the possibility is off the table, the least you can do is this: Accept that they like cats.
If they like different things, don’t let it be a reason to start waging wars. Instead, approach the matter maturely. And to do that, here are some tips:
- Don’t belittle their interests – If they like something odd and they tell you about it, hear them out. Don’t respond negatively or laugh at them
- Assure them that it’s okay to like different things – Do you want them to fly solo with their interests? If so, don’t forget to let them know that you’re cool with it
- Don’t insist that your interests are better – Assure yourself, too, that it’s okay to like different things. Don’t convert your partner and enumerate reasons why your interests are better
If things are going great in your relationship, you should enjoy the moment. But if you can sense that things are about to go south, it’s time to intervene. Fix whatever is wrong and step up your game!
13. Don’t take them for granted
Usually, if you and your partner have been together for a long time, it can be effortless to feel comfortable. But while that’s a good thing, it also introduces a problem: It is at this point when you can start to take them for granted. And the worst part is, you might not even be aware you’re doing it.
So here are ways you can rectify the problem:
- Keep the lines of communication open – Always talk about things with your partner. Simple conversations like asking them about their day goes a long way for your relationship
- Appreciate every little thing they do – Even if they just took out the trash, you should be grateful. If they get the impression that their actions aren’t meaningless, they’ll feel encouraged to be more active
- Create new memories – It gives you and your partner a reason to keep feeling good about your relationship. After all, time marches on. And no matter how tight you hold on to the old moments that made you guys happy, you’re bound to forget them
14. Give them room to grow
Don’t pick out their breakfast foods for them. Don’t do their own chores. Don’t make friends for them.
That’s because there are some things that your partner wants to do for themselves. You may think you’re helping. But you know what you’re doing? You’re only annoying them. Worse, you’re slowing them down.
So unless they’ve asked you to micro-manage their activities, leave your partner alone. Just leave them be. Doing so means plus points are headed your way. After all, you’ve granted your partner a gift: The room to grow!
15. Grow together
Wondering why many successful relationships blossom if the two people involved are about the same age? That’s because these people face life’s ups and downs together.
So while you want your partner to grow, you should also be ready to grow with them. Otherwise, they’ll feel alone as they move forward in life.
Remember, you’re in a relationship. If you don’t accompany your partner as they go through everything ahead of them, you guys are likely to drift apart.
That said, here are ways to grow together as a couple:
- Come up with activities that you can do as a couple – You can go rollerskating, go ice fishing, or play tennis. The specific activity doesn’t matter per se
- Always eat your meals together – You can’t go running around with an empty stomach. And neither can your partner. So use this as an opportunity to bond
- Forgive – If your partner commits a mistake, learn to see their reason. If they mean to you more than their mistake, bury it and move on
Do You Now Know How to be a Better Boyfriend
So that’s it. The above-mentioned ways should pave the way for you to become the boyfriend that your partner deserves.
Remember, you’re lucky to find someone you believe is an amazing partner. So after luck has done its part, it’s time for you to do yours: Be a better boyfriend!
And to look at this from a fair angle, you should also ask your partner about their thoughts. You’re not supposed to be in a one-sided arrangement, after all.
So do they want you around? Do they appreciate the effort you’re putting in? And more importantly, do they want you to be a better boyfriend?